The Joker

My six year old loves telling jokes. She doesn’t really know any jokes, so they’re all pretty much off the cuff. She’s worked out that the formula for a joke is:

Question / followed by Answer that she doesn’t quite understand / followed by laughter.

So, we get sessions like this a lot:

Mummy, do you want to hear a joke?

Hit me.

Why did the egg bite the other egg?


Because it was an egg biter egg.


Knock Knock!

Who’s there?


Door who?

DOOR. Banana!

…of course. Silly me.

There are lots of chicken jokes.

Why  did the chicken cross the road?


So he could get eated!

And lots of farting jokes – sometimes with chickens too:

Why did the chicken go up in a tree?

So he could fart on leaves and make them die.

Today, we got cat farting jokes.

Why did the cat jump up on the bed?


So he could fart on you.


Why did the kitten jump up on the bed?

For the same reason the cat jumped up?

No. So he could fart on you. TWO times.


Great. Saturday Night Live? Maybe next year!


11 thoughts on “The Joker

    • They’re just so SURREAL that I have to laugh. Which, of course, makes her think that her jokes are really funny, ‘cos it’s never just polite laughter. They do crack me up. Don’t think I’ll let her head out on the stand up circuit yet though!

  1. Actually the egg-biter one is really good. Do you have these things called egg-BEATers where you are? These are ersatz eggs, so those who misunderstand the whole heart-health cholesterol thing (very big in the USA gosh why is that? McDonald’s, and Marlboros, praps?) can still “eat” some substance that vaguely recalls real eggs? Egg Beaters, Egg Biters, HAHAHAHAHAH. Tell your little sweetie I’m laughing!

    • When you said egg beater, I thought ‘whisk’. So no, I don’t think we have what you mean. Though I have seen long sausage shaped egg type things for caterers. Egg roll, if you will. Though I think what you call egg roll, we call spring roll. To-may-to, to-maw-to etc etc.

  2. I remember Egg-Beaters! Yuck :) Your wee one would love my mother’s elephant jokes. How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree? It paints its toenails red.
    How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator? There are footprints in the jelly (Jell-o, until I moved across the pond).

    • Yeah, I tried her on the elephant in the fridge one, and she gave me that look of blankness, as though she was searching for something polite to say. Kids really are the harshest critics.
      However, she was overcome with a proud glow when I told her that people in America had read her joke and laughed.
      Do you know what she said? You should try sending it to London next. They might like it there too!

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