Cat 1: They’re disgusting – why do you have them around?
Cat 2: Well, they’re really warm….
Cat 1: Yeah, but they smell off – if you’re lucky they wash once a day. When’s the last time you washed once in a day? Huh? Or any cat you know who wasn’t dead at the time for that matter? And what about them pooping in the drinking bowls?
Cat 2: Yeah, but most times they bury it with water. Water’s still good in the drinking bowl after that. But, yeah, I wish they’d do it in the garden.
Cat 1: So you agree: Humans are disgusting creatures and cats SHOULD NOT live with them?
Cat 2: Mmmm – there’s something about them. Apart from the warm. I can’t quite put my finger on it…..Opposable thumbs maybe? No, no! I Got it! Food. They have GREAT food. They do this thing with dead birds that you just wouldn’t believe. They heat them in a big hot box and it comes out all soft and warm and……oh! the taste!!! Dead things NEVER taste that good in the garden. As long as they make dead things taste that good, I’ll put up with the rest.
Cat 1: Dead birds, you say? Tell me more. Do you know any spare humans?